Home. Such a simple word, yet so ambiguous and confusing in my head. “Matt when are you coming home to Indiana?” Wait, I don’t live in Indiana, but it’s home? “Matt I’m surprised you left your camera at home.” Wait, home, LA is home? 

It’s difficult to move over 2,000 miles away from your friends and family. Then get handed the keys to an apartment with my roommates and walk into a blank room. Blinds and a stove, that’s about it. This is home? It’s 75 degrees outside in January here, yet this apartment feels colder than being outside in Indiana during a snow storm. It takes a while. It’s taken time for me. For the longest time I don’t think I’ve truly moved in here. It hasn’t felt like home here. 

Where is home? What is home? I’ve been living in this apartment since January 6th. Tonight, I’m sitting at my desk in my room, with the TV on, eating dinner. I think tonight, this is home. I’ve got friends here, colleagues, clients, coworkers. I’ve built some kind of life here. I’m home in LA, Hollywood, California. 

There are definitely days where I think of just moving back to Indiana. But let’s be real, I haven’t even given this city a chance. Of course I had more of my life built in Indiana, I lived there for 21 years. I’ve only lived in LA a year now. It takes time. It gets better every day. More friends, more events, more parties. 

I’m going back to Indiana in a couple days. It will be good to see my Indiana friends and family. I’ve got so much history with them, they will always have a special place in my heart. 

Thanks again for reading yet another misguided rant full of grammatical errors. I really write these more for myself than anyone else. Not sure why I even post these, because they probably appear rather self centered. I guess I’ll worry about that later.

Fingers crossed I get a window seat on my flight Friday morning.

Cheers, 

Matt Shouse